Day 212. Crossing the Bristol Plains of El Segundo.

Wednesday, January 14th. A warm day. Winds out of the Southeast. We depart for Sesame Rojo (known to the rest of the world as Red Sesame, an Asian fusion restaurant), conveniently located next to Bristol Farms. Hosea and I place our order and embark on the short but easy trek to the Upper Samples Plateau of Bristol. 

In the distance, an unusual sight. A feeding. Some kind of salad with good roquefort cheese and a delicious raspberry dressing. We approach cautiously, eagerly, hopeful it is not some mirage on the Bristol Plains. It does not vanish, and we sample. Excellent! The hunt is already a success.

Next, the customary selection of cheeses and crackers round out the safari. Coffee hit the spot: a sample sized, hot cup of Major Dickason's Blend. (Who is this Major Dickason? Is he one of ours – a friendly – or perhaps the leader of a rogue safari? We could not discern on this day. Note for future safari: question a Bristol Farms employee for information on this Major Dickason.)

Tomorrow is another big day. Must rest up (at work). For now, satisfaction. 

Trader Joe's pulls out the win with a warm quesadilla

A customary first stop at Fresh & Easy yielded two kinds of kettle-style potato chips – hickory barbecue and salt & pepper – available for sale at $.99 each. Not a bad deal, but I wondered where the Salt & Vinegar chips were, since those are clearly the best (followed closely by the Jalapeno). 

A lone serving of popcorn chicken was reluctantly taken by Hosea, who confirmed the worst – they were cold and therefore not good. Our jovial sample butler pointed out that a whole new batch was being warmed in the toaster, but we departed for Hawaiian-themed pastures. Trader Joe's.  

Trader Joe's had nothing but Southwest Chicken Quesadillas, but to Hosea, that was a slam dunk. I tried a cut without chicken in it, and it was indeed melted gooey cheesy goodness. Just $2.99 for two, also. Not bad! 

They also had chilled servings of Expeller Pressed Mulch Lawn Trimmings Juice, or whatever it's called, which I always was tempted to try but never wanted to invest in a whole bottle. It was fine, but now I don't need to buy a bottle. Ever. I guess that sample had opposite the intended effect. 

WINNER: TRADER JOE'S. 

What a difference a week makes

In the pictures above, we see the most disappointing Bristol Farms showing ever. Stowed-away samplers, empty trays,  un-replenished crackers… A total debacle. It was enough to keep us away in favor of the one-two TJ's-F&E punch. Well, today E3 ventured off to Bristol Farms and reported back with a text: "Best samples ever!" 

So we headed over, and while I didn't take any pictures, it was, if not the best Bristol Farms Safari yet, definitely in the top 3. A sample of the samplings: 

– Mini chocolate cupcake

– Mexican nut mix

– Mini toasts with jalapeno cream cheese and chive cream cheese

– Stinky and delicious bleu cheese 

– Cranberry cheese spread with stone wheat toast

– Two or three other cheeses, with thin flatbreads

– Cinnamon bread slices with fresh peanut butter spread

– Coffee

This was after a sub-par safari at both Fresh & Easy (or, as we sometimes call it, "Frail & Emaciated") and Trader Joe's. At Fresh & Easy, there was the same-old same-old of trail mix and crispy veggie snack mix.  There was a sign for popcorn chicken, but none was being served. 

At Trader Joe's, there were spiced almonds. I picked up a cup and told the sample butler: "NUTS!" She laughed. I wasn't kidding. Some juice and Sumatran coffee completed the underwhelming safari. 

WINNER: BRISTOL FARMS BY A LENGTH 

Twas Two Weeks After Christmas

Twas two weeks after Christmas

And all through the town, 

Not a tinsel was hanging,

The lights were all down

Decorations discarded, 

Old trees left to stink, 

The bright red of Christmas

Turned Valentine's pink.

Would the holiday cheer

Be drained from the stores?

Would the samples a-plenty

Become forgotten lore? 

Would Old Trader Joe 

Show his miserly ways?

Would the great Fresh & Easy 

Put away all its trays?

Out to the chill 

Went our sampling band, 

Taking leave from Black Monday

With an outstretched hand.

Inside Fresh & Easy 

What a welcoming sight!

Hot soup, nuts and cheese puffs, 

The world was still right. 

Even old Trader Joe, 

The perpetual Scrooge, 

Served hot chicken wings

(For him, kinda huge.) 

So with one ounce of coffee, 

Into day's fading light,

Happy sampling to all, 

And to all... a good night.  

Spirit, if not holiday spirit, still in effect at Fresh & Easy. 

Trail mix, juice water, butternut squash soup & cheese puffs. Additional beverages not pictured.

 

Trader Joe's's typically meager offering. However, Hosea assured me the wings were quite good.

 

As always, fantastic coffee. This was Guatemalan. 

WINNER: FRESH & EASY.

The Sample Safari Trifecta – A Day that will Live in Sample History

When you start sampling, this is the day you dream of. In your darkest hour, you think it can't be possible. And yet, today, for Hosea and me, it was a trifecta of sampling bliss. The perfect Sample Safari, the one to beat, for now and for all time. A legendary outing.   

Fresh & Easy – we started with hot macaroni & cheese, then warm pecan pie, some good coffee, and finally a sampling of mixed nuts. 

Trader Joe's – Next up, Trader Joe's turned in one of its best performances yet. Not only was there a friendly sample butler (as opposed to the surly ones we often encounter), the samples were varied and generous: dark chocolate almond bark, some kind of nutty cake, and crispy chocolate-covered star cookies to start. A Peruvian coffee paired well, though it was decaf (the full caf was brewing). Hosea and E3 tried some lemon echinacea drink and seemed to enjoy it.

Then, the employee put out salt caramels, which were a knock-off of some very expensive ones you can find in Whole Foods (which I've bought and savored). This one was good, too, but we milled about, waiting for mushroom puff-pastry triangles to come out of the toaster. They emerged, and were worth the wait. 

Feeling quite satisfied, we sauntered over to Bristol Farms, just barely touching on the work we had to do. 

Bristol Farms – while not offering the usual panoply of cheeses, Bristol Farms did have cold cuts and some excellent mustards – including a champagne mustard that I correctly guessed cost $6.99. Being a newly minted vegetarian, I refrained from the meats, but Hosea enjoyed them. The few cheeses there were were quite good, especially a Dutch gouda-style cheese. A warm paper cup of pomegranate tea – with which we toasted our good sample safari fortune – warmed us up for the walk back to the office. 

We strolled back feeling satisfied and warm, basking in the glow of a truly indulgent, fully successful safari. Happy Holidays!

WINNER: TRADER JOE'S.